


turning saints into the sea

by smallredboy



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friendship, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, they think its unrequited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 05:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12787653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy
Summary: Alexander thinks Aaron and Jonathan are dating, and he can't help but be jealous.





	turning saints into the sea

**Author's Note:**

> this is sort of angsty but not really. i just wanted alex to be a pining mess and it got out of hand and ended up being 1k. 
> 
> enjoy!

Alexander doesn't hate Jonathan Bellamy.

This is what he tells himself while he gazes at him and Aaron talking. They're so _affectionate_ , way more than Aaron is with him. They butt heads, they laugh, they intertwine their fingers together.

"Bro!" Bellamy drawls, spiked with sarcasm, and Alexander wishes they would get a room. Aaron chuckles and pats his back while they talk about everything and nothing in particular They're close, Aaron isn't closed off with his fellow Law student.

But with Alexander he only shows him coldness, _talk less smile more_ , he gives him advice and smiles at him. His smiles are warm, and maybe Alexander is making it up, but they're so much warmer with Bellamy.

His insides are on fire every time he sess them, like he's being choked. Because he can never have Aaron while he's in love with someone that's better than him. Bellamy is everything he's not— quiet like Aaron, he doesn't go in tangents, he's Catholic like Aaron.

And he's jealous. He's jealous that him and Aaron fit together like pieces of a puzzle, that he's so much more than him in Aaron's life. He hates it, and he should just get closer to Aaron, but he can't get closer than Bellamy is.

Aaron walks towards him, his fingers apart from Bellamy's. "Hey," he says, his eyes so dark and so brown and so beautiful. Alexander's heart thumps against his chest.

"Hey." He sits on the bench; Aaron does the same. "How long have you two been together?" he expects a simple answer ( _two years_ , _a year and a half_ ), not Aaron's furrowed eyebrows and confused eyes.

"Me and who, exactly?"

Alexander hisses. "You and Bellamy." _Don't play stupid_ , he wants to say. But Aaron's eyes widen and his jaw hangs open.

"We..." Aaron chuckles, scratching the back of his neck. "We aren't together, Alexander. We're best friends."

Alexander blinks before staring into Aaron. He only sees honesty in his brown eyes, his skin gleaming against the sunlight. "I thought..." he could say so much, he could say he was jealous. But he doesn't. Heart in his throat, he just stares into the man who's stolen his heart.

Aaron laughs. "You aren't the first one to think that, Alexander." His voice is melodic, deep, so much for Alexander to want him to sing him to sleep. His face is burning by now, and he doesn't know what he's supposed to say, what he's supposed to do. Confess? That's goddamn stupid.

"You alright?" Aaron's voice cuts his thoughts short.

"Uh, yeah. I have to do... stuff." He chews on his lip and gets up. He watches in a trancelike state as Aaron goes back to Bellamy and starts talking to him again.

He closes his eyes and turns back to his dorm. Tears prick at his eyes, and he's an idiot. He should've just told him, even if just to get the burden off his shoulders. Because Aaron Burr didn't love him— that much was obvious.

Meanwhile, the two Law students talk. "He thought we were dating," Aaron tells Jonathan, his voice tight with so much emotion it hurts. "I couldn't date anyone but him."

"You should tell him," Jonathan says for maybe the twentieth time ever since he told him about his crush.

Aaron crosses his arms and replies with a cutting "No."

"Do you want me to read you my essay called _Alexander Hamilton Is In Love With Aaron Burr And Here's Why_ again?"

Aaron rolls his eyes. "I still can't believe you wrote that."

"I can't believe it either." He laughs, pushing his dyed blonde hair out of his face. "It's my best work though, isn't it?"

Aaron laughs and butts heads with his best friend. They've been close ever since they met at church, a few years ago. Aaron remembers fondly telling Jonathan _I think I like men_ and him replying _I think I do too_ with wide eyes.

"Isn't it a bad sign when your best work as a Law student is a joke essay?"

"There was nothing jokey about that!" Jonathan replies, balling up his fists in mock offense. "I wanted to prove to you he loves you, you idiot."

"You didn't suceed. Your argumentative abilities suck."

Jonathan leans against the wall, an amused grin on his lips. "No, you're just stubborn. I've always won in debate club." His hair falls to his jaw, wild and wavy. He pushes it off his face again. "Just tell him." He continues before Aaron can argue, "We should go to our dorm now, it's getting late."

Aaron kicks one of the pebbles in their section of campus. "Sure," he says. Part of him (the part that believes in what Jonathan says) wonders if Alexander was jealous. The other part of him tells himself to shut the fuck up. Alexander doesn't like him, and his best friend is just trying to make him feel better about his hopeless crush.

He sighs and goes off to follow his best friend through campus and to their dorm. He misses not being in love with goddamn Alexander Hamilton of all people. The loud-mouthed, rant-prone immigrant who he's known for about two years now. The English major with essays twice as big as the professor requested them.

Aaron had fallen in love with him, and goddamn it, he wishes he hadn't. But his feelings had set, and even if to believe Jonathan for a second, he should confess.

But not now. It could wait.

A few dorms away, Alexander sighs as Hercules tries to cheer him up. "I've seen how he looks at you," his friend tells him. "He likes you too."

"Don't lie to me, Herc."

"For real!"

Alexander huffs and takes another sip of coffee. He'll stay awake the entire night, by the looks of it. He's always been good for all nighters, but he knows all he'll think about is Aaron. Aaron and his plump lips, Aaron and his gorgeous eyes, Aaron and the scar along his ear.

He wants him. But he could never have him, right? He should confess, he says for the fourth time that day. Get it over with.

He will. Not now, though. It could wait. 


End file.
